When dealing with a divorce or Family Court matter, be careful taking legal advice from friends & family. You will inevitably speak with family and friends, and sometimes with co-workers about your situation. While I am sure they all mean well, they are not experts in the field of divorce or family law. Appreciate their efforts to be helpful but remember that anything they say must be taken with a grain of salt.
Legal Advice Friends & Family Example
On one occasion a client disagreed with me on an issue and told me that she had spoken to someone who had told her something different. When I asked her “Where did that person go to law school?” she responded, “Oh, he is not a lawyer, he is a plumber.” While I am sure the plumber meant well, he did not have the training or experience to properly advise my client about her divorce action. If my sink was clogged, I might call that plumber to help me with my sink, but not to assist me in a divorce case.
Some of my clients have friends or relatives who are attorneys. Often, those clients ask them for advice about their divorce or family court matters. Here again, they mean well but if they don’t practice in the field of matrimonial or family law their advice has to be taken with a great deal of skepticism. For instance, I do not profess to be an expert in bankruptcy law or how to handle complicated zoning matters. What I do know is divorce and family law and that is where I am able to represent my client’s interests.
Legal Advice From An Attorney In That Field Of Law
It is always advisable to get legal advice from an attorney of your own choosing when dealing with a divorce or Family Court matter. Your attorney’s primary function is to advise you as to what is in your best interest now and in the future. What a friend may tell you from his or her experience, or what happens in a television show, are not necessarily in your best interests. An experienced attorney with a strong legal background in matrimonial and family law, such as Phillip J. Jusino, is better able to help you.
If you need legal representation concerning a divorce or Family Court matter, I invite you to contact my office to set up a free consultation by calling 631-588-3155. We have been handling divorce and Family Court matters for over 33 years here on Long Island. Check out Phil Jusino’s book about divorce and family law titled Divorce: A Practical Guide. The book may be purchased on Amazon.com.
Communicating Effectively With Your Attorney
In the movie Cool Hand Luke starring Paul Newman, the head prison guard says to the jailed Paul Newman character “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” Quite often such a problem exists between a client and the attorney because they are not on the same page. This can be for a number of reasons. Suffice to say, nothing good ever comes from a failure to communicate.
There comes a time when I am representing a client that I simply ask “What do you want out of this case?” I may ask this question before I am retained or after I know what the marital estate consists of. The responses that I receive to that question vary widely. Sometimes my client tells me exactly what he or she wants. Even if what the client wants is unrealistic, at least I know what the client wants and we have a starting point from which to move forward.
Sometimes the response I receive is simply “I don’t know.” That is a fair response but doesn’t answer my question. My usual follow-up question to that response is “if you don’t know what you want, how am I supposed to get it for you?” I understand that sometimes a client does not know what their rights are so their answer is “I don’t know what I am entitled to, so please tell me.” Even though I will have an idea as to what they are entitled to and what they may receive, either by way of settlement or by trial, I still like to hear from the client what they want so I can address their expectations.
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A third response I get is “I know what I want, but I don’t think my spouse will ever agree to those terms.” My usual follow-up response is “Forget about what your spouse wants. I am asking you what you want.” What I am trying to do here is to be crystal clear with my client so that we get on the same page. If my client focuses too much on what their spouse wants or what everyone else wants, the client may very well lose sight of what is important to them.
Although it is sometimes like pulling teeth, I usually get some kind of answer from the client and we go from there. The reason why I ask them what they want is so we do not experience a failure to communicate. It is imperative that we are on the same page because, after all, we are on the same team and have a common goal, which is simply for the client to come out of their divorce in the best possible shape, given the facts and circumstances that are unique to their case.
By way of example, if you hire an architect to build a building, the architect is going to ask you what type of building you want and for what purpose. If you tell the architect that you did not know the answer to those questions, what do you expect the architect to do? He can build you a building that he likes, but that does not necessarily accomplish what you hired him to do.
The take away here is that you must hire an attorney that you can communicate with and that you believe will carefully listen to what you have to say.
Legal Advice From An Attorney In The Field Of Law
It is advisable to get legal advice from an attorney of your own choosing when dealing with a divorce or Family Court matter. Your attorney’s initial primary function is to advise you as to what is in your best interests now and in the future. What a friend may tell you from his or her experience, or what happens in a television show, is not necessarily in your best interests. An experienced attorney with a strong legal background in matrimonial and family law, such as Phillip J. Jusino, is better able to help you.
Settling Your Divorce or Family Court Matter
It is often better to settle your case than go to trial. Even if you go to trial and win, that victory has a cost, especially in matrimonial cases. There is not only a financial toll on the individual, but also an emotional one that is arguably more than in any type of case given the raw emotions of the parties in a divorce, especially if children are involved.
For instance, in a motor vehicle accident case, the issues are rather simple and straightforward. Who was at fault and how much should the victim receive as compensation? Even in a criminal case, the emotions are less intense. If an attorney can minimize the punishment his criminal client receives, he is a hero. However, dealing with a divorce, the emotions are raw and near the surface. Having the case dragged out and going to trial only intensifies the emotional pain as well as causes the client to suffer financially.
Early in my career, I had a client who turned down a divorce settlement in excess of one million dollars. After discharging me, she hired another attorney and went to trial only to receive about $400,000.00. I tried to warn her but she did not take my advice and suffered financially because she insisted on going to trial. Not only did she not prevail at trial, but it cost her a small fortune in the process. I call that a double whammy. I always tell my client’s that if they take my advice, they will have a better chance of success than if they disregard my advice. If a client disregards my advice, why would they still want me as their attorney?
Judge And Jury In New York
In New York, divorce and family law cases that go to trial are heard by a Judge and not a jury. The Judge handling the case from the first conference to the trial is usually the same Judge who will try the case. This means that the attorneys have the benefit of getting a sense of what the Judge thinks about the case. If the attorney has a knack for reading the Judge, as I do, that attorney will be able to advise his client about the likely outcome of the case if it goes to trial. During the conferences, the attorney for the children will make a recommendation to the court that will give the Judge more insight into what is in the best interest of the children.
It’s important to do all you can to compromise and settle your divorce action or be prepared to spend a lot of time and money as well as incur a large emotional toll in the process. To quote Abraham Lincoln, “The nominal winner is often the real loser….”
After you hire an attorney, you will be required to fill out a Financial Net Worth Statement listing all of your expenses, income, assets, and liabilities. Your spouse will be filling out the same form. You will sign this document in the presence of a notary and it will ultimately be filed with the Court. It is a sworn document.
In A Divorce Action, You Must Know Your Worth
After you have completed the entire Financial Net Worth Statement and given your attorney the necessary supporting financial documents such as tax returns and bank statements, you and your attorney will be in a position to know the value of the marital estate, which is critical when trying to come up with a settlement propose. Unfortunately, it is not always that simple.
By that I mean, not every case involves parties who are W-2 employees, and who are forthcoming with their financial situation. I have handled many cases in which one of the parties was self-employed and received much of their income in cash, or in which someone worked off the books. In such cases, your attorney may need to employ experts such as a forensic accountant or business appraiser to come up with an income stream for that individual, or to determine the value of his or her business in the absence of detailed business records.
For example, I have been involved in divorces in which a party submitted a tax return showing that they made $50,000.00 a year. However, they drove an expensive car, lived in an expensive houses, and had the lifestyle of a person making ten times their reported income. Some things make sense and some things do not. Keep in mind that Judges are not dumb and often see right through such things.
Matrimonial Trials
A number of years ago I was involved in a matrimonial trial in which I represented the wife. The husband had a good-paying job but also did side work in which he earned additional off-the-books income. According to my client, her husband earned a lot of money doing home improvement work. However, initially, I had no way of knowing just how much he made doing this side work. Since my client located some receipts with names, addresses, and phone numbers of some of the people he did work for, I was able to contact these people and subpoena them to court to testify that they paid significant monies to him to work on their houses.
Spousal Maintenance Award
Although I could not prove to the penny what his additional income was, I was able to establish to the Judges satisfaction that he earned significant income doing such side work, much more than he was willing to admit. This resulted in my client receiving a larger spousal maintenance award.
The bottom line here is that your lawyer must first determine what the marital estate consists of as well as what the incomes and expenses are so that he or she will be in a position to negotiate a settlement with the other side. Without this information, your attorney is flying blind. It is like a doctor trying to diagnose an illness without first running tests. It would be irresponsible to do so.
When Becoming Involved In A Divorce Action You Must First Assemble Your Team
When you come to the realization that you are experiencing marital difficulties and that a divorce is a real possibility, it is important to surround yourself with people who can help you get through this tough time. This is the time to assemble your team.
The first thing you must do when considering a divorce, or if your spouse forces your hand, is to consult with a knowledgeable and experienced matrimonial attorney in your area. Although not necessary, it is helpful if the attorney that you consult with, and hire, practices in the courts where your case will be handled. The reason is clear, your attorney should be familiar with the judges, court staff, court officers, and other people in the court system that he or she will be dealing with on a regular basis when your case is on the court’s calendar. Depending on your case, this could be many times. It’s helpful when your attorney knows the courts and is known by other attorneys as well. They may end up being the lawyer for your spouse, or if applicable, the attorney for the children.
“A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the Judge.”
Not to oversimplify the point, but I once received the paperwork as a gift that reads “A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the Judge.” To put it another way, by hiring a local attorney, you will not lose the home-field advantage. When in the process of consulting with one or more attorneys, make sure the lawyer that you ultimately hire is not only knowledgeable and experienced but also has the personality with which you can work. It also helps when the attorney has a knowledgeable and caring staff to assist him or her as well as to assist you with respect to your matter.
Do not be afraid to ask a prospective attorney about his or her experience in handling such matters and to take into consideration how he or she answers your questions. If you ask enough questions, you will get a feel for the lawyer’s ability and expertise.
Your Attorney Needs Your Full Cooperation
Once you have retained an attorney, it is important that you take the attorney’s advice and give him or her your full cooperation.
In addition to hiring a lawyer, another member of your team might be an accountant who advises you as to the tax consequences of a settlement or court decision if the case goes to trial, or a real estate broker or business appraiser depending on your situation. Lastly, and no less important, other members of your team should include family and friends that will support you and give you strength during this most difficult time. I am not suggesting that you get legal advice or expert advice from family members and friends. However, giving you emotional support or even financial support and being a positive influence on your life, family, and friends can be a tremendous benefit to you.
The Bottom Line
The bottom line here is that if you assemble a team of good and decent people and follow their advice, you will be in a much better position than if you throw caution to the wind.
It is always advisable to get legal advice from an attorney of your own choosing when dealing with a divorce or Family Court matter. Your attorney’s initial primary function is to advise you as to what is in your best interest now and in the future. What a friend may tell you from his or her experience, or what happens in a television show, is not necessarily in your best interests. An experienced attorney with a strong legal background in matrimonial and family law, such as Phillip J. Jusino, is better able to help you.
If you need legal representation concerning a divorce or Family Court matter, I invite you to contact my office to set up a free consultation by calling 631-588-3155. We have been handling divorce and Family Court matters for over 33 years here on Long Island. Check out Phil Jusino’s book about divorce and family law titled Divorce: A Practical Guide. The book may be purchased on Amazon.com.
